Demons
by let-my-soul-live
Summary: His demons were swelling up inside of him. He needed to keep them hidden. He wouldn't dare show his past. Not to anyone. Cal's backstory.
1. Preface

**Demons**

**Summary**: Caledon Hockley's life was anything but glamorous. It was filled with darkness adn despair. Starting from his birth, to the day it all came crashing down. This is my version of the backstory of Titanic's "Misunderstood Millionaire".

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Titanic or Caledon Hockley. They both belong to the wonderful, James Cameron.

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**A/N:**Hey guys! I've been wanting to write Cal's backstory for a long time now! I really hope y'all enjoy, and please tell me what you think in a review! I love to know I'm not wasting my time! :) Enjoy! :)

**Preface**

**October, 30th, 1929- Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania**

Caledon Hockley sat at his desk with a letter dangling fron his fingertips. He wasn't exactly looking at it. He already knew what it said. It was gone. All gone. The wealth he had built for himself with sleepless nights and throbbing headaches was gone. He felt so foolish.

At that moment, the hard, stone walls surrounding his heart came crashing down. There was no money left, and therefor, no reason to live.

He slowly rose from his desk and went over to a cabient. He pulled out a shiny, silver pistol. The only object that mattered to him anymore.

He stared at it for a few moments, and then went back to his desk. He sat down again, and pulled out some paper. He wrote 3 letters. One to his bastard of a father, one to his wife, Louise, and one to the one person he never forgot. Rose Dawson.

Once he had said his goodbyes, Cal leaned back and thought about the hellish jumble events called his life.

He remembered his childhood full of abuse and pain. His adolescence filled with numerous hangovers and one night flings with girls with no names. Then, he remembered adulthood, and how the cracks had began to show in his perfect world.

He wasn't perfect, and he knew that. He had his flaws. He was only human.

Then, he raised the silvery gun to his head with silent tears streaming down his cheeks. He pulled the trigger qucikly. So he wouldn't have any regrets. Not like he was going to anyway.

The last thing he remembered was the bitter poison of lead.

**Please review! I want to know what you guys think! I will have the first chapter up soon! **

**Until then,**

**Xo, Maggie. **


	2. Chapter 1- Dark Shadows

**A/N:**** Hi! I haven't updated in a few weeks, but here I am! I did some reasearch, and women did indeed get married as young as 15 in the 1880's. So, this is mostly accurate! Also, the reason I'm wasting my time writing Cal's parents background is because when Cal comes into the picure, he will be easier to understand! That's it, and I hope you enjoy the chapter! Reviews are greatly appreciated! ;)**

**Chapter 1- Dark Shadows**

**January, 15th, 1882**

Maria Petrov stared out her bedroom window at the snow-covered gardens below her. She felt melancholy, even though today was her 15th birthday. She was supposed to be joyous, but she wasn't. There was a deep sadness growing within her soul. Consuming her whole.

She knew that soon, she would have to marry and start a family. As she was now eligible for marriage. But she didn't feel ready. She was just expected to wake up one day and be a grown-up. She just felt so much older than she really was...

Tonight, her whole life would change. Tonight was her coming-out party. where she would be shown off to all the eligible bachelors of Boston society. And oh how she hated the way they stared at her as if she was a prize to be won. She was a person, not an object!

But, her thoughts were interrupted as her mother hurried into her room. She chirped, "Oh Maria! We must begin to get you ready for your ball!" Maria just nodded sadly and went over to where her mother was standing. Her mother produced a box from behind her back, and Maria looked at it skeptically, raising an eyebrow. She asked, "Mother, what is that?" Her mother cleared her throat and answered snootily, "Well dear, you are a woman now and it's about time you began to look like one. It's a corset."

Maria just stood there, shaking her head slowly, as she was shocked. She'd heard stories of these "corsets". How they made your waist incredibly small so you could fit both your hands around it. And she just imagined how painful that must be...and horrifying! She argued, "But, Mother I-" She was cut off and her mother fussed, "Now Maria don't you want to find a suitable husband? All me like a woman with a nice figure. And dear, frankly, you don't have much to look at...Now, come here!" Maria obeyed silently and went over to clutch her bedpost. Her mother began to slip off her dress she retrieved the corset from its box. Oh how Maria just wished it would stay in there! Her mother instructed her to hold tight to the bedpost, and she fastened the corset around her delicately small frame.

She pulled the strings tightly and Maria let out a sharp gasp. She felt as if her lungs were being crushed! Her mother continued to tug on the garment until it was secured around her now, even tinier waist. Maria looked sadly at her reflection. Her mother was beaming. She panted, "Mother! I can scarcely breathe!" Her mother chuckled and reassured her, "Now dear, you just need some time to adjust to it. And soon, you'll have a lovely figure indeed!" Maria just rolled her eyes and attempted once again to breathe. But it was useless. She felt like she was trapped in a cage ike some animal waiting to be tamed. It was pathetic.

Hours later, she was all ready for the ball. She was dressed in a lavendar silk gown with matching silk gloves that brought out her blue eyes. Her chocolate curls were piled onto her head in an elegant up-do, and she also had rogue on her porcelain cheeks. She knew this girl in the mirror wasn't her. This girl was a glamorous society girl. Not someone she wanted to be. But, she was awoken from her trance of thoughts as she heard her mother calling her from downstairs. She took one last glimpse of her reflection in the mirror and let out a sigh before she grabbed her fan and walked out of her room.

She appeared at the top of the Grand Staircase, and she heard her mother gasp. She said, clearly pleased, "Oh Maria! You look lovely dear!" All Maria could really do was fake a smile as she walked down the stairs as gracefully as she could. It wasn't easy. Her legs were shaking from the butterflies flitting around in her stomach. Once she reached the bottom, she was escorted into the ballroom by her older brother, Alexander.

As she entered the ballroom, she saw everyone turn their heads in her direction. She hated being the center of attention. She had always bee a shy girl. She was led over to a banquet table, and she was seated. She finally felt somewhat stable. She started to look around and she saw so many faces! There were people she knew such as relatives and friends, but everyone elses faces were an unrecognizable blur. Such as, some of her father's business connections and their sons there. Staring at her as if she was a dish on a silver platter. It made her sick.

A few minutes later, her father came up to her and said with love in his eyes, "Hello, my dear. You look very beautiful this evening." He paused and leaned over to kiss his daughter's forehead tenderly. Then he added with a more serious tone in his voice, "Maria, there are many young men here this evening. It's about time you considering finding a suitable husband. And tonight is the perfect opportunity! But, I also wish for you to enjoy yourself tonight, my dear." Maria smiled lightly. She loved her father very much so, and she knew that he wanted only the best for her. She said kindly, "Yes, Papa. I know finding a husband is the best option for me now. I want to make you happy!" Her father smiled, and Maria kissed him on the cheek before he walked off to join society, leaving her alone.

A little while later, she decided to get up and join the party. She found some of her friends, and they chatted and exchanged the latest gossip. For the first time in the whole night, she felt somewhat comfortable. She also danced with her brothers and cousins, and she was even allowed a flute of champagne. Surprisingly, she was enjoying herself!

At the end of the night while she was talking with her friends, her mother pulled her aside and said sternly, "Maria, there is someone your father and I would like you to meet. Please try to be at least somewhat decent!" She was shocked by the harshness in her mother's voice, but she obeyed anyway.

Soon, she approached her father. There was also a man standing with him. Someone she'd never seen before. He was tall with dark hair, a tanned complexion and a slender, but muscular build. He had piercing, dark eyes that could see right through a person's soul. He was quite handsome, and he was definitely older than Maria. But, she guessed not by much. He was perhaps in his early 20's. There was something else about this man that intrigued her, but she just couldn't put her finger on it...

Her father noticed her presence and said kindly, "Oh, there you are, Maria! I hope you're enjoying yourself this evening, dear!" Maria just smiled and nodded. She noticed that this handsome stranger was staring at her intently. She blushed. Her father continued casually, "Maria, I would like to introduce you to a good friend of mine! Nathaniel Hockley, from Pittsburgh!" Maria turned her attention to him and he lifted her hand gently, placing a kiss on it, resulting Maria's cheeks too turn a deep crimson. He said smoothly, "It's a pleasure, Miss Petrov. Your father was just telling me how beautiful you are. I see that he wasn't lying..." Maria's whole face was bright red now. This man knew how to get to her... Maria just replied softly, "Thank you, Mr. Hockley. It's a pleasure to meet you as well..."

Her father interrupted, "Tommorow evening, Mr. Hockley will be dining with us to discuss the wedding..." Maria's blush disappeared and she became very pale. She stuttered, "Wait, wh-what do you mean? What wed-wedding?" Her father answered, amused, "Well, your wedding, dear...you're going to marry Mr. Hockley..."

Maria suddenly felt very faint. She didn't know if it was the champagne, or the corset crushing her lungs, or the shock she had just received, but the room began to spin, and she only saw darkness.

**I really hope y'all enjoyed, and please review! They mean a lot to me!**

**Until next time, **

**xoxo, Maggie**


	3. Chapter 2- Revelations

**A/N:**** Hello lovelies! Just letting you know that this will be my last update for a few months. I will be going on vacation, and I won't have time to update. But,with summer here, I have TONS of time to write! Don't worry, I will still have this fic in mind! :) With all that said, here's chapter 2! Enjoy! And please review! They mean a lot to me! :) **

**Chapter 2- Revelations**

The next morning, Maria awoke in her bed, utterly confused. She rubbed her eyes, and sat up groggily. She yawned and heard a sharp knock at her door. She called out, "Come in!" soon, her mother came bustling in, carrying a platter of food. She ordered, "Get up and dress quickly! We are going shopping for this evening!" Maria groaned, but she finally followed her orders as she felt her mother's cold eyes on her.

Her mother always pulled the strings of her corset viciously as she helped dress her in the mornings. She didn't trust the servants to give her daughter the figure she needed. Maria hated it. She gasped for air as if she was a beached whale! It was torture! But eventually, Maria was dressed in a lavish green silk gown with lace adornments in the shapes of roses and other flowers, along with a matching bag and slippers. Her mother rushed her downstairs and they hastily left for the days exertions. Maria hadn't even been able to look at her breakfast.

There was one thing Maria hated more than anything. And that was shopping. Her mother just towed her around to shops all day as if she as one of the many bags that had accumulated during the days trip. And occasionally, she would pitch a garment at her for her to try on. It was utter misery. She just wished to be home, curled up reading one of her favorite Jane Austen novels in her father's library. Actually, she would just like to be anywhere from where she was now. But of course, her mother would never allow that. She thought reading wasn't lady-like. Anything Maria did was un lady-like in her eyes.

Finally, after several hours of running around all of Boston, Maria had returned back to the comfort of her home. Honestly, the whole day had been a blur of gowns, and petticoats for her! She couldn't remember a solid detail! But, there was evidence the whole nightmare was indeed real. Her mother had bought her several gowns in the latest "bustle" style. Along with all of the proper undergarments and matching accessories.

But before Maria even had the chance to her breath, her mother whisked her away upstairs to dress her for the evening. She re-laced her corset so her waist would seem smaller. But, it honestly didn't do much, her frame was already dangerously small. Once she was ready, she had been dressed in stunning scarlet gown with rhinestone along the hem and plunging neckline. She also had her dark curls swept gracefully into a chignon, and there was a deep red lipstick to match her gown on he lips. She looked quite lovely. But on the inside, she just felt she was being all dressed up just to be bartered and traded. But of course, she had no say in her future. There was nothing to do except to accept her fate as it was, and make the best of it.

As she went downstairs to join the evenings events, she heard distant voices coming from the dining room. One of them belonged to her fiancee. Her heart began to race and her palms became sweaty. She felt nervous around this man. She knew nothing about him, and it was expected for her to become his bride!

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When she finally entered the dining room after what had felt like an eternity-all heads turned towards her. Nathan flashed his dazzling, million-dollar smile at her, and strode towards her to gingerly place a kiss on her hand. He purred to her in his deep voice, "Maria, how very lovely you look this evening!" Maria just managed to smile lightly. It helped to keep her from getting sick all over him. Then, he offered his arm to her and she took it reluctantly. He led her over t the table, and helped her be seated. She sat down, careful not to wrinkle her gown. God forbid that to happen! Nathan sat down beside her, and Maria tried not to gag at the smell of his pungent cologne. She didn't know how she could possibly make it through the night!

As the courses whipped by, Nathan mindlessly talked about business and politics with her father while Maria just sat there, pretending to listen like it was the most interesting thing she'd ever heard. But it wasn't. It was actually quite boring. She honestly couldn't care less about stocks or the latest election! She just wanted to go up to her room and take off this damned corset!

But then, the topic changed, and everyone was talking about the wedding. Her mother was mentioning what her wedding gown would look like, and who was on the ever-extending guest list. Of course, no one asked her opinion. She felt there was no way out of this marriage. After all, she barely knew the man she was to marry! She felt the weight of everyone's expectations on her shoulders. She felt she just wanted to scream until someone heard. She felt trapped in a golden cage. Like she was some animal to be tamed. But, oh how she wanted to be free and fly away from this never-ending pain!

But the truth was, no one cared. No one even glanced her way. No one wanted to know what her dreams were. Her hopes were. Her desires. To all of society, Maria was just another tool to be used in everyday life. A porcelain doll without a thought in its head.

After dinner had finally ended, everyone leisurely made their way to the drawing-room for some coffee and gossip. Once everyone had gotten comfortable, Nathan stood and walked over to elsewhere Maria was seated, getting down on one knee. He gently took one of her delicate hands in his. Then, he took out of his pocket a large velvet box and opened it in front of her to reveal the gaudiest, most absurdly sized diamond ring Maria had ever seen. She thought to herself "_My God! It probably cost enough to feed the starving bellies of all the homeless in Boston!" _She covered her mouth in surprise and forced a small smile. Nathan slid the massive ring on her finger, smiling at her with an arrogant sense of pride. Maria just kept the fake smile plastered on her face, to keel the bile from rising in her throat. She knew everyone had her where they wanted her. Like a fly caught in the perfect trap.

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At the end of the evening when Nathan was about to leave, he asked Maria to join him on a carriage ride through the park the next afternoon. She accepted reluctantly, and then Nathan did something she wasn't expecting. He kissed her. It wasn't something too big, but it certainly threw her off guard when he leaned over and pecked her cheek goodnight. Once he pulled away and had put on hos coat, he leaned over and purred into her ear, "I'll see you tomorrow, my dear..." Maria managed to fake another smile- probably for the hundredth time that evening -and she opened the door for him to leave.

After he had disappeared into the frigid January night, Maria closed the door, leaning against it for a moment before trudging up to her room to go to bed.

Once she had finally reached her room after the seemingly never-ending night, she called her maid to help her get ready for bed. Soon, she was relieved of her corset and uncomfortable gown. She could feel the oxygen circulating through her lungs again!

She sat down at her vanity, and started to comb through her dark, tangled curls. She began to think about her future with Nathan, the man who was to soon be her husband.

Maria had only just met him, and she knew nothing about him! He hadn't even really proposed to her! He practically walked in and just claimed her as his own! He treated her like some dog that would be submissive to his every command. He expected her to be his perfect little wife that would give him everything and more! And Maria hadn't even begun to think of having children! Of course she knew that Nathan would demand of her a son. She didn't ready to become a mother! She knew nothing of children! Or even marriage! She felt that her whole world was spinning and her madly and she was struggling to keep up.

She gazed down at the large diamond sitting on her finger, weighing her down and keeping her tied to Nathan. Maria just sighed and crawled into bed, pulling the covers up to her chin. Soon, she drifted asleep. Dreaming that fairies were taking her away to a blossoming meadow full of flowers, and the sun shining in her eyes. Perhaps for one more night, she wouldn't have to grow up.

**I really hope you guys enjoyed! I honestly thought mythos chapter was very repetitive. I don't like it so much... Oh well! Please review and let me know what you thought! :) They mean a lot! :) **

**Until next time, **

**- Maggie xx**


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